Friday, November 3, 2017

no turning back

i discover so much about myself throughout my-better-health-journey. how mind control pretty much everything. positive mind will breed positive action. i used to refrain myself from going out and jog. i think about what other people might think about me. and i ended up nowhere without even trying. due to that, i never know about my ability, strength, will power etc. so just 2 days ago, i went out and just jogged at tmn tasik titiwangsa. i decide to just follow my heart and my guilt feeling about destroying my body over a decade..

at first, i was quite embarrased. having to pass by a lot of people and cars.huhu.but i choose to just ignore it. and as i jogged and walked, i kept saying this to myself:

enough is enough
you can do this
no shy
no regret
sikit lagi, kau boleh sofi
kau champion
kau mmg boleh

over and over again. espc when i have to cross group of people. and alhamdulillah i did 2 rounds! almost 7000 steps. next time i will try 10k steps. keep up sofi!! this will be a very long journey for you. this is your road, not others. do it step by step, do not rush, learn to love yourself again. just believe that with the right intention, right attitude, allah will ease your journey insyaallah

Ar-Ra'd: 11

Thursday, October 26, 2017

My small step

Not a good day for sofi today.i went to pharmacy to check on my glucose level.devastated news.at least for me..it's higher than i expected.i dont know why but it just hits me.i cried river once i got in the car.maybe because im currently on my better health journey.I just thought that the glucose level was better..so sad.im so sad and dissapointed as well at myself.

nevertheless I want to stay positive .I have to.i need to stay strong and believe in my dear self.that I can do this.that I will bear this journey no matter how hard it will be.

so just a bit throwback to LoveMyselfRun2017 which was held last weekend.i took part in 3km run.alhamdulillah to my suprise,my performance that day was way better than i thought.huhu.started a bit rough.need to catch my breath few times.but then i manage to run MORE than I walk.so well done sofi.do this for the sake of allah,for the sake if your health.for better quality of life.your health is amanah from allah..wake up sofi!

16 days

rekod baru. berjaya bertahan selama 16 hari. bertahan utk apa?bertahan utk jaga makan,kawal selera makan dan cuba exercise regularly hari2. one thiing for sure, jgn timbang selalu. nnt frust and demotivate. jujurnya mcm x turun pun kg aku. tp aku ttp rasa bangga dgn diri sendiri. sbb aku agak berjaya lah menahan nafsu selera yg membuak, cuba kawal otak. it's all about your mind..nk melawan kimia dlm otak yg dh biasa makan banyak. nk melawan nafsu makan lebih. masyaallah. dlm 16 hari ni juga aku bljr utk kuasai fikiran. stick to my BIG WHY, bljr sabar, step by step, bljr percaya kebolehan aku mengawal fikiran, bljr utk fhm bhw ini satu cbrn yg aku kena lalui jugak no matter what. wpun basically kg taklah turun pun, aku tetap akan kata this 16 days adlh blessing and im proud of myself. semoga terus bersabar

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

of exercise..

Satu kesan jelas yg aku rasa bila buat exercise ni adlh sakit pinggang dan belakang berkurang.kdg tak sakit pun. sblm ni mmg aku mudah sgt rasa sakit ni. espc bila nk bangun dr duduk or berdiri lama. almaklum, pinggang x larat dah nak tanggung berat badan.

Inilah satu reason why aku kne exercise. why kita semua kena exercise. nak jadi lbh sihat adlh BIG WHY aku. mula dgn simple exercise yg sesuai dgn kemampuan..small steps, big leap.hrpnya lah huhu. bila aku fikir2 blk, badan kt ni aset terbesar utk kita jaga. tp lbh sedekad aku tak jaga betul2 amanah allah. need to start somewhere.wpun susah. sesiapa yg terbaca ni, tolglah doakan aku, wish me luck 

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

16.10.87




mencecah umur 30 tahun
alhamdulillah allahuakbar
dear sofi,
semoga terus positif menjalani kehidupan
sentiasa bersyukur atas segala nikmat allah swt
sentiasa bersangka baik dgn allah swt
terus sedar diri dan tak jemu bermuhasabah diri,
jadi anak yg lbh baik, kakak & adik yg lebih baik, kakak/mak usrah yg lbh baik, sahabat yg lbh baik, MANUSIA yg lbh baik..
upgrade diri, improve diri,
terus eager explore life, skills, ilmu.
sentiasa bersyukur atas segala nikmat allah swt
dan terus diberi hidayah dan kekuatan utk terus tsabat di jln dkwh dan jamaah, jln kebaikan dan kebajikan.

please guide and protect me ya allah..
(13:11)



Saturday, October 7, 2017

circle.

Bukan mudah nak melepaskan kebiasaan, lingkungan yg dikenali, suasana yg berulang, perasaan yg sama.

Sedih rasa hati melihat mereka. i will miss you a lot. 

Saturday, September 16, 2017

obsession

obsession is greed and dangerous.

Friday, July 21, 2017

demo palestin 21/7/2017

Setelah lama tak keluar berdemo, hari ini allah izinkan aku keluar ke jalan bersama-sama yg lain. demo kali ni bukan demo politik. jadi aku rasa selamat dan selesa utk gerak seorang. dah lama juga tak gunakan LRT. demo kali ni berkenaan Palestin. puak zionis ni mmg takkan berhenti merancang dan mengganggu..perlu ada usaha yg berterusan agar isu keganasan zionis selama lebih 70 tahun ni terus tersebar luas pd masyarakat. org malaysia sendiri & dunia. biar semua org cakna

aku ingat lagi fasa awal isu palestin ni nak disebarluaskan. mmg susah. susah nak bg org rasa isu palestin ni isu kita bersama. mmg aku sgt respek pd org2 yg konsisten berjuang ni. siang malam. dari susah, alienated, rejected dan sebagainya. smpilah skrg. kt boleh lihat isu palestin makin subur di klgn msyrkt kt. apetah lg dunia. makin mudah nak minta sumbangan bantuan,tajaan dll. 

skrg ni..isu syria, yemen dll pula yg berada di fasa awal..struggle. semoga allah bg kekuatan buat kt semua.kena doa..

so ada apa dengan demo? kenapa aku turun demo. basically aku turun demo sebab aku percaya dan yakin demo adalah slh satu cara utk tunjukkan solidariti kita terhadap isu palestin atau apa jua isu yg kita bawa. kita nak tunjuk ada yg menyokong rakyat palestin. they are not alone. dan kita nk tekan puak zionis , US dan sekutunya supaya back off. supaya jaga2. jgn buat sesuka hati. people around the world are watching. dan pastinya nak mengajak kerajaan khususnya, dan semua rakyat malaysia utk cakna isu palestin, syria, rohingya dan semua isu2 kemanusiaan yg ada. kan bagus kita semua bersatu tanpa beza politik, beza bangsa dan agama..isu kemanusiaan isu semua. kalau ini terjadi pd non muslim, kita juangkan juga.

jadi kalau ada lg lepas ni dan kt berkesempatan utk turun, turunlah. aku pun alhamdulillah ada ruang nak join tadi. yg penting kita tahu apa tujuan demo tu, tentang apa etc. have a nice weekend :)

Thursday, July 20, 2017

tak boleh tidur

Ust Bidin sebut dalam satu daurah aqidah, kita manusia ni mesti tidur sekalipun kita tak mengantuk atau badan kita tak penat pun. kita perlu tidur. utk regain tenaga. refresh. kalau tak tidur, memang akan ada side effect yg tak elok.

actually baru shj melepasi fasa tak boleh tidur malam. walaupun kepala dh di bantal, aku boleh rasa sel otakku berjalan, berfikir. sampai stress rasa. bila otak sdg berfikir, aku tak dapat tutup mata. yup aku guna bahasa hiperbola. tapi itu sajalah ayat yg sesuai utk aku gunakan. huhu. penangan berfikir utk dua retreat. sampaikan aku terpaksa buka nature sounds; bunyi air sungai mengalir lembut. aku sekalikan dgn istighfar. alhamdulillah dpt juga tidur. aku andaikan inilah keadaannya bila otak kurang diasah utk berfikir lebih. haha. semoga pening fikir dan tak boleh tidur tu allah redha..